His "alumnae", as he liked to refer to them,would sometimes even invite him to their weddings and later to thechristening or bar-mitzvas of their adopted children. He liked to takeformer patients to dinner at expensive restaurants (with their husbands orboyfriends, if possible), as though showing them off to the world ? this iswhat I can do. In truth, Dr. Mautner often envied his patients for the lives which, on thewhole, were often fuller and more rewarding than his. Sometimes he wouldfantasize what those lives were like, trying to think of how alumna Mollywas managing with her brood of five children or how alumna Jennifer wasworking out at her job as an airline flight attendant. Some of them almostobsessed him: the former high-tech executive whom he transformed into awaitress at Hooters, the lonely and unloved student who now ran a bridalshop, the former construction worker who was now a seamstress. Theirdreams came true, or as close to true as it was possible to make them.. “BULLSHIT” and I yelled and said nothing else. I stormed out of the house breaking down her slide glass door and I really did not care what happened because you screw with me I screw you over even worse.I arrived home and took off my clothes and got into the shower. I sobbed and sobbed wondering what was really wrong with me and I even contemplated taking my own life. I got out of the shower and went into the lay on the couch. I remained naked contemplating how I can end my sufferings. What would be the best way for me to snuff my own lights out that would have been quick and painless.I did not realize Annabelle had come into the room. Annabelle jumped onto the couch next to me and I started to cuddle my girl and cry into her fur. Suddenly Annabelle dipped her head onto my crouch and stared sniffing it. I pushed her away and scolded her “Bad Girl Annabelle do not do that!” Annabelle was so consistent and she kept on probing my crotch. I eventually gave up and let her probe. .
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